What is the Hangover?

I think the VERY first thing that sparked the change in the generation emanating from Hollywood, was the Manson murders. Everybody suddenly got paranoid. THEN it was the dealers coming in from out of the woodwork selling bad drugs for big bucks; there was opportunity for big bucks right there in the center of it all, (mafia bucks, gang bucks, opportunist bucks) hence, all the deaths and people freaking out and jumping off buildings and shit. We got a bad rap for that, but were we to blame? We'd been fine prior to the opportunists jacking us around. Everything was fine.  We trusted our fellow men and brothers, but those infiltrators weren't us. They just wanted our drug money. What they got was our wonderland. They destroyed our paradise. They destroyed us and all we believed in.

THEN it was having/deciding to leave that era and its location. One moment you are living on love, trust, faith, laughter-- euphoria! (yes, love, faith, trust, and laughter was euphoric they say--NOT real--how weird is that?!) well, that enchantment WAS reality for us at the time and it was very real, but short in existence, and THEN in the next moment--POOF! you can't trust ANYbody, and the days, the nights, the lifestyle vanished.

What do you do? Where do you go? How do you change your thinking and your culture in an instant? Where are your friends? How do you cope with apathetic assholes in the Midwest after you leave? What will become of me (us)? How do I have a "normal" day when my "normal" isn't like the rest of the world's? How do I go back "home" when home doesn't exist anymore? How can I pretend to go back? Could I try and imitate my old life?

NO! Hollywood was gone, the Hollywood that I knew--was suddenly erased from the planet in the blink of an eye. We were fucking history almost overnight. So now what?! What the hell do I do and where do I begin to continue with any kind of a worthy life in this moment of departure in the aftermath of the greatest thing that had ever happened to me at that point in time?

THAT was the Hangover, or its beginning, because of course, it still exists. I still have to cope from that loss even today. I REMEMBER that existence easily, as I am reminded every day of the life I lead back then. Every time a song like "What's happening here? What it is ain't exactly clear..." comes on the radio, or "The End" by the Doors, or "Bell Bottom Blues," (because my friend Little Kay used to say ' it's all wrong, but it's alright.' Little Kay was my bud and she used to say that all the time, damn it; and she went on tour with Derek and the Dominoes, and now it's a common expression) and JJ Cale's Crazy Mama. Crazy Mama was Patsy Camp; she was a close friend of mine; and so on and so on, and so on DAILY! "Call me the breeze." Heard that about ten minutes ago.

Couldn't forget even if I wanted to. Love, Nancy