Walking up to Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones, who was sitting at a table at Ben Franks, and giving him your phone number. He called.
Hanging out at the Wally Heider recording studios just off Hollywood
Watching The Iron Butterfly play the only song they knew in
Checking out the psychedelic cars Crow used to paint
Eating french fries at Mel's with the Mothers of Invention.
Catching a ride in Buffalo Springfield's old black hearse-- an old 1953 Pontiac with Ontario, Canada plates.
Taking a drive down Hollywood Boulevard to stare
at the faded old starlets that never made it
Shopping in Head East clothing store
Discarding stupid behavior only to improve on it later.
David Malachowski, guitar player, currently playing with Anthony Rapp, sent me this old poster. It's announcing that Savoy Brown, Bonnie and Delaney, and Aynsley Dunbar, will be playing the Whisky March 31 through April 6, 1969. You've GOT to click and enlarge it. That poster is a gem!
Working in Head East and partying after hours upstairs
Never going to Disneyland. What for?!
Ordering a Papst Blue Ribbon mirror for a friend at a liquor store. Two weeks later, you are back in the store forgetting all about the mirror. The guy behind the counter says, "Your Pabst mirror's here." You react. "My pap smear! What the hell is it doing here?!"
Batman chasing you around your apartment at the St. Regis saying "...but I'm Batman! Don't you know you I am? ...I'm Batman!" We had just arrived in Hollywood and had no idea who Adam West was or who Batman was at all, but whoever he was, he was horny for my sister.
Cooking oatmeal. I told my sister one morning that her oatmeal was boiling over. She said "Oh, it always does that."
Having "salad" with David Crosby. Well, ok, it was a salad BOWL of coke.
Sitting outside the gates at Sonny and Cher's estate after midnight and ringing the buzzer for two hours
Hangin' out with your best buddy
Hearing Star Spangled Banner for "the FIRST time" and getting goose bumps when Jimi Hendrix played it.
Getting pulled over for not having a license plate light; and you had just rolled into Hollywood from Illinois with several pounds of Illinois' "FINEST home grown" in the compartments behind the seats of the Corvette. After sweating 80 million bullets, man, you get a warning citation for the burned out light.
Getting pulled over for "suspicion of being suspicious" ( I swear that happened to me.) Isn't that hippy profiling?
Staring at this poster of Janis
...and this one
Wondering who would pick you up hitchhiking-- in my case, Jimmy Stewart in a black Jaguar sedan, Keith Carradine and his Dad in a rusty old pick-up truck, and Ike Turner in Tina's limo.
Knowing we had the right to remain silent but not the ability.
Getting purposely lost in Laurel Canyon so you can find the house you're looking for.
Having a great desire for health and well being through Yoga and
so we fasted for several days on Southern Comfort milkshakes. Yes, it was a reality check. Very zen.
Getting in upstairs at the Whisky where the bands hung out during their breaks
Going to hear Arthur Lee and Cooker duke it out on
harmonica at Brave New World
Meeting Sky Saxon on Sunset and hanging out with the Seeds at The Sea Witch
Being asked to leave Rod Stewart's room at the Riot House because he was "expecting a bloke"
Getting a good case of the crabs from a barmaid at The London Fog
You consider not going to a small get-together at a friend's apartment because it will probably be boring, (If I remember right, it was a Tupperware party) but Jeff Beck and Ron Wood stumble in the door, literally, uninvited, and play guitars for the rest of the night. That's right--you read it here-- A Tupperware party!
Picking up a Salvador Dali coffee table book to flip through--Twenty minutes later, you're still gazing at the first painting.
Drag racing down the Strip with Jan and Dean
Sitting at a stop light, and you glance over to see who's
sitting in the car beside you. You notice the guy has a gun
pointed at you. You point your finger at him and start laughing hysterically as
you drive off.
In reality, you were scared shitless, but you faked Your fear and probably scared the piss out of the guy with the gun. He thought YOU were the nut.
Elmer Valentine, the owner of the Whisky, is calling you up to tell you to
grab a girlfriend, because he and his motorcycle buddy are partying and want you
to come over. Knowing that his motorcycle sidekick is Steve McQueen, you decline
because they both have short hair. Yuk!
Standing outside the Whisky after partying upstairs all night,
you start feeling sick as a dog, so holding your breath, you run across the
street to use the john at the gas station. When you reach for the doorknob, the
door opens and some guy comes walking out at the same moment, unfortunately,
that you're no longer able to hold yourself; and you spew a good gallon of it
all over the guy's spanking new two-piece leather suit. Appalled and in shock,
the guy screams and runs. You go in the john, do your ugly business, and cross
back across the street to the Whisky just in time to hear Procol Harum's long
version of "A White Shade of Pale."
Babysitting your love child
Getting to hear J.J. Cale's first album before it was recorded, in your living room--just him and his
guitar. He was scruffy and next to homeless, but he played songs like:
Crazy Mama, Cocaine, After Midnight, Magnolia, and
Call Me the Breeze.
If your parents said not to do it,
then that was your ticket to ride.
My daughter, Teri, and Jan from the Classic Cat,
in defiance of parental training.
Watching Buddy Miles weave up and down
the Strip in his Corvette
Gettin' yer rocks off...........thirty years later
Staying clean-ass away from Phil Spector's house, because
you had heard the rumors about his glass coffee table. He was
evidently paying people to shit on it.
Dodging Charlie Manson and his family
Getting covertly dosed in Pandora's Box
Getting thrown in Sybil Brand prison for misdemeanors if you were female, because there were no women's jails. I spent a day and a half in prison after running a red light. The Manson girls were in there for murder! I ate my dinner off iron plates using plastic 'silverware'. I was treated like a criminal for a whole day. They sprayed me down and checked every crevice, like ears, for ex.. They made me take off everything, like my wigs and hairpieces and all my eyelashes. I felt so stupid and humiliated as a criminal. ...and other inmates were watching all this go down, and laughing their asses off. I made myself a promise to never run another red light. Yellow ones, but not the red.
Being asked if you would cook dinner for Elton John at
Leon Russell's house. You get high first, so that cleaning up the kitchen will
be easier, but then you pass out, and miss out on everything, including pizza
delivery, and of course, ELTON.
Sitting in the Bizarre-Bazzar trying to get high by smoking huge joints of complimentary Bizarre-Bananadine ("Mellow Yellow") --didn't work.
Baking banana peels very slowly for hours so they could be crushed and smoked, since we were certain that the song "Mellow Yellow" was a secret message from Donovan about getting high on bananas. Didn't work.
Gathering together for a holiday meal--Kraft macaroni and cheese, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and a doobie. Merry Thanksgiving, man!
Helping Jimi Hendrix try on a purple velvet jacket when he shopped in Head East. I made that jacket. Why didn't I make purple velvet pants? What was I thinking?!
Hangin out in the kitchen
at the Plantation early on
Sunday morning waiting for
the swap meets to open
Sitting out on the cliffs at the beach and waiting for the great tidal wave to roll in that would have washed the entire city of Los Angeles off the map, but we sat there and we waited and waited and waited. Los Angeles is still there.
Getting backstage at the
Forum or the Hollywood Bowl
Going a few doors up from the Whisky into Dobie Gray's apartment to cop a buzz. Nice and handy.
Never hanging around actors much--they were too strange, man.
You may have considered going to Woodstock, but why!? You'd miss a few days in Hollywood!
You're sitting on the john the morning after your party, with a massive hangover. From that low position, you notice white dust left on the countertop from last night, and you know what a perfect hangover remedy that stuff can be. You scrape it into two nice thin lines and...very quickly FIND OUT THAT IT"S Ajax!!!!!!!!
Hallucinating giant wieners
Hearing your brakes scrape metal to metal coming down the canyon
Running into a friend at The 5th Estate, who reportedly carried on for six days and nights with Miss Mercy of the GTO's and Brian Jones; but in order to "protect the guilty," he refrained from spreading what he called"lovely memoirs"
If you were female, you crossed the street to avoid walking past the front
door of Filthy McNasty's strip joint.
Borrowing money from your maid
Running into Jimi Hendrix, Joe Cocker, Jim Morrison, Led Zep, David Crosby, Janis Joplin, Eric Burden, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Gram Parsons, John Phillips, Rod Stewart, Jeff Beck, John Mayall, the Cream, etc. at parties and clubs
Dodging Sweet Emily's rolling pin at Leon's on Skyhill Drive.
Waking up one day to find Paul McCartney's head had been sawed off the giant Beatle Billboard down by Head East on Sunset; then the whole world was in mourning for days over the "Paul McCartney is dead" story
Being sad that Vito's son, Godot, died so young
Going to parties at the Landmark
Getting thrown out of the Landmark.
Going to other clubs besides the Whisky such as: The Cheetah, The Trip, The Sea Witch, the Troubadour, The Palomino Club, London Fog, Thee Experience, Pandora's Box, Brave New World, the Aquarius, The Ash Grove,, Gazzari's...
Also, Ciro's, Sneaky Pete's, The Unicorn, The Galaxy, Bido Lido's
Following Leon Russell, who was driving his Rolls Royce from his house on Sky Hill Drive to an Elton John/Leon Russell concert at the Forum.
Listening to old blues records
Throwing up in a phone booth, but your ill state of mind quickly changes as you watch the stuff turn into beautiful psychedelic designs as it splatters on the floor and on your shoes. Now THAT was kool I must admit. Never saw that happen but
once in my life, and I still to this day, have a vivid recollection of that
beautiful puke. It was awesome...a really unique experience.
Experiencing the taste delights of a hippie "gourmet" breakfast with a friend.
The ritual of sitting in the parking lot of "31 Flavors" and smoking a joint before going inside. Always.
Going to The Pink Pussycat--a strip club, Shelly's Manhole, a jazz club, and in the early sixties, The Peppermint Lounge, a go-go dance club.
Cruising the freeway after midnight at around 45mph
until dawn; listening to The White Album at the loudest volume your car stereo
would peak. Earlier that day, you had installed the new high-tech psychedelic strip
of electronic blinking lights in your backseat that flickered and flashed to the music. It was "far out"
Doing the-Hollywood-nose-job thang...
Driving by Houdini's ruins and Frank Zappa's house. You could often see glimpses of naked people in Zappa's woodsy back yard if you looked real hard. I think I saw a butt-cheek and a leg once, but it may have been a large mushroom.
While dancing on top of a grand piano at the Classic Cat you are firmly
advising Evil Kneivel to leave you the hell alone or you would get a bouncer to
throw his ass out! He apologizes and offers to buy you a drink. You signal, Jay,
You're released from Sybil Brand Prison (for jaywalking) and after the long excruciating walk out of there, you see your sister at the end of the long walk standing next to a long black limo, chauffeured by a mafia dude waiting to take you home. He was an old friend that had been making a living six months ago selling empty coke bottles, and he owed us a favor.
Getting offers from Stan Freberg to be in famous commercials
Shoplifting Snickers at Seven Eleven
Drinking triple Blood Mary's with no ice, in the Hollywood Roosevelt's white dining room during Sunday brunch with a bunch of pretentious little old ladies in hats and gloves, sitting around staring at you.
Stealing the book called "Steal This Book." Did it.
Having to dance
for a living half-dressed
Visiting Muddy Waters who lived down on the corner near
the House of Awareness in a dinky little walk-up.
Making a living earning whiplash checks
Watching rock and roll icons puke-- Joe Cocker on stage, and Jim Morrison, all over my girlfriend, Kay, back by the restrooms at the Whisky, and Janis Joplin on the dance floor at the Palomino Club
Finding a beautiful lead singer
to bring home and stare at
Hearing Elmer Valentine and Steve McQueen, his motorcycle buddy, roar up to the front door of the Whisky; then leave their motorcycles sitting in the No Parking zone
You get out of bed at six a.m. to take a pee, and when you walk back to your bedroom, you discover the maid has made your bed
Driving back from Illinois to Hollywood. You wanna get back
so bad that you don't care that you don't have a clutch in the
Vette or a right contact lens. You get into first gear with the engine shut off.
Turn on the ignition and lope to a start in first gear;
you have to watch the tachometer to switch gears to second,
third and fourth. You finally get up to
miles an hour.
Then you close one eye and haul ass west!
"Got that big ole sun
Pokin' prodigal fun
Like a melody sent
From the logical one"
R.D. Simone ©1978 Third Stone, First Rose